And the Desperate House Wives
by muaaimoi
Summary: Max and Caroline are married to the "men of their dreams" Max to Johnny, Caroline to Chef Nicholas. They meet at a fancy party for Johnny's art exhibit. One thing leads to another. Smut.


Caroline Channing had always known that she would marry for money. Once you had a certain level of wealth, the thought of marrying someone poor just wasn't reasonable, not when you could marry someone equally wealthy and combine your fortunes. The idea was mostly to find someone even wealthier to love.

Nicolas, the celebrity chef with his international chain of restaurants wasn't someone she had seen herself with, but he'd been so handsome, so charming, and just rich enough. Of course she'd married him. Five years later she was mostly surprised they hadn't gotten divorced. Nicolas had been so sweet after their honeymoon, attentive and unbelievably passionate in bed, she'd never thought he would ever make her feel neglected. Two years into their marriage, his attention had started to wane, it had gotten to the point where she couldn't remember the last time he'd touched her.

She'd been going crazy, her collection of toys had grown extensively, but it hadn't helped. She hadn't meant to, the first time she strayed. But she'd been so frustrated, and their gardener, Rafael, had been so hot, all firm muscle, and the way he looked at her, like she was the most desirable woman hadn't realized she'd been cheating until she'd signed over double his paycheck for excellent use of his 'plow' in her 'garden'.

She maintained that it wasn't entirely her fault. Women had needs and her husband hadn't been meeting them. Of course once she'd begun to pay attention, it was obvious that Nicolas had taken to straying too. It'd made her feel slighted enough to actively search for other lovers. Which was what she'd been doing at their most recent fancy outing. He'd taken her to an upper class art expo, her favorite sort of soiree. Where she could purchase expensive art and be photographed on a night out on the town with her husband for the society pages.

On the surface they seemed so perfect together, sometimes she honestly forgot they hadn't been together in the biblical sense for years. She'd been looking at a particularly beautiful painting when the artist himself walked up to her, girl on his arm. Probably his wife.

"One of my favorite pieces," He said with a charming wink. Caroline looked at him with much the same consideration she'd looked at his art. He was very cute, and while he was obviously married, according to the rings on their fingers, it hadn't been much of a problem for her in the past. He extended his hand."My names Johnny, thank you for coming to my exhibit."

Caroline gave him her best smile, extending her own hand and letting it linger just a tad more than appropriate for a handshake."Caroline Channing, it's a pleasure, you're very talented."

His wife cleared her throat, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows at them, "Name's Max, I married this idiot before anyone else realized his art was any good."

Caroline's smile froze on her lips, considering that perhaps she'd been a little too obvious. She'd never been caught flirting with a guy in front of his wife, and it was obviously a bad idea in retrospect. Except-except that Nicolas had been flirting with the goddamn cocktail waitress and she really, really needed a pick me up. The artist had seemed like just the thing to make her night a little more bearable.

"Hey, I think frenchy over there might be looking to buy your real favorite." Max said, poking Johnny uncouthly in the ribs, then using the same extended pointed finger to indicate to Caroline's husband, "Go finish talking him into it. I've got blondie over here."

The artist shot his wife an alarmed look, but left obediently enough, after giving Caroline one last charming smile. Caroline couldn't help but scowl, yes it was worse than rude to have designs on some other woman's husband, but Caroline would be damned if she started feeling bad about it now.

"What makes you so sure I'm going to buy it now?" She asked Max, snippy.

"Well, I thought I'd offer you the best orgasm of your life, doesn't seem like a bad exchange now, does it?" Max said, giving her a wicked smile, coupled with some of the best bedroom eyes Caroline had ever been on the receiving end of. It made her feel a little hot under the collar, but it didn't change the fact that masculine name or no, Max was a woman, and Caroline was straight.

"Excuse me?" Caroline hissed, scandalized.

"Well you were looking like you wanted one from Johnny, and I felt generous enough to save a pretty thing like you from that disappointment." Max said, racking her eyes slowly over Caroline's dress at the compliment. It made Caroline's off shoulder white dress feel like sexy lingerie.

"I'm not into girls." She protested, willfully ignoring the way her eyes were drawn to Max's impressive cleavage.

"Oh honey, that's never stopped me before." Max said, eyes twinkling devilishly as she ran a long finger down Caroline's arm. She couldn't quite stop a shiver that ran down her spine.

"Oh." Caroline said, considering that she should perhaps investigate what was so great about women that made Nicolas cheat on her the way he did. Max leaned into her space, breasts barely grazing Caroline's own as she whispered."Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes."

Two minutes later, asking a waiter to direct her to the restroom, Caroline wondered what should bother her the most, sleeping with a woman, or doing it in a public bathroom. She didn't have much time to think about it though. The bathroom had seemed deserted at first, so it had caught her off guard when Max opened a stall and dragged her into a heated kiss. Caroline barely had the presence of mind to close the door behind her.

Max kissed just the way Caroline liked it, wet and not a little dirty. The nimble use of tongue made heat pool low in her stomach. She couldn't help but think about the way that tongue would feel against her clit. Max had offered her the best orgasm of her life, after all. Max pulled away from their kiss, and Caroline wondered briefly what the etiquette for asking a girl she'd just met to go down on her was. Then Max distracted her with a trail of sharp kisses down her jaw, ending in a playful nip to her earlobe. "You loud Blondie?" Max asked, hands falling from her waist to squeeze her ass.

"Yes." Caroline squeaked, startled into honesty.

"Damn," Max mused aloud, skimming her plush lips, thankfully absent of lipstick, down the line of her throat, kissing the hollow between her collar bones. "I'd usually love to hear you scream for me, but it'd be a bad idea to get caught. Guess I'm gonna have to keep you quiet."

Caroline absently noted that Max was a superb multi-tasker, managing to speak while working Caroline's dress up and her panties off.

"How are you planning to do that?" Caroline asked, eyeing the way her white satin panties were being bunched in Max's hands. She was promptly gagged with her own underwear. Caroline made a high indignant noise, fully intending to spit out the makeshift gag, when Max cupped her pussy, middle and ring finger breaching her without so much as a by your leave.

It would have hurt had Caroline not been wet from her earlier ministrations. Max's thumb honed in on her clit, thumbnail flicking at the stiff hood the way you'd twang a guitar string and the next thing she knew, Caroline was grinding down desperately, trying to get more of those wonderful pumping fingers, more of that sharp pleasure/pain against her clit. Max's mouth had made it's way to the valley of her breast, where she used her teeth to tug down the top of her dress, revealing Caroline's white strapless bra.

Max kissed her cleavage, teasing and nuzzling her breasts out of her bra. Flickering her tongue deliciously against the hard nipples, and it was just - too much, too much pleasure too quickly, too much stimulation. Or perhaps it was just enough because Caroline was coming, cunt eagerly fluttering against Max long fingers, and it took her a minute to remember where she was, coming down from the endorphin rush, trying to get her lungs to resume their proper oxygen gathering function, and more than a minute to realize she was glad Max had her pinned to the wall because her legs weren't doing the best job of holding her up. Caroline tugged her panties out of her mouth, panting.

"Maybe not the best orgasm I've ever had." That honor still belonged to Nicholas on their honeymoon, "but definitely in the top ten." Caroline said, giving credit where credit was due. It was the fastest she'd ever reached completion as well.

Max chuckled against her, trailing her lips along Caroline's jaw and down to whisper in her ear, "We're just getting started." Max proceeded to drop to her knees. Caroline barely had the presence of mind to shove her panties back into her mouth at the sight. If she'd through Max's fingers were gifted, well, she didn't have words for Max's tongue. No one, not even Nicolas, had ever eaten her out like that. Ravenously, like her honey was ambrosia, like she couldn't get enough. Max's tongue was magic. Fingers pumping relentlessly crooking just right all the while. Tongue swirling, sublime, shivers wracking her body, the rubbing against her g-spot so exquisite that her existence narrowed down to the waves of pleasure running through her body.

All Caroline knew was that she was coming, again-and again. Again? Had she even stopped? She had never known pleasure like this. She couldn't think. All that Caroline knew was that life was good-no better than good. Great. That. Life was great. Even coming down from the longest afterglow she'd ever had, thanks to hands down the best orgasm (orgasms?) of her life, Caroline was having trouble articulating her thoughts.

The pleasurable tingles and sparks running through her were very distracting. So where the uncontrollable shivers and aftershocks. She was distantly aware of Max's hands on her, adjusting her dress, and presumably attempting to make her look presentable. Caroline would have told her not to bother, judging from the grin she could feel on her face, anyone would be able to tell just what they had been doing. But she hadn't quite graduated back into words. Plus there was the matter of the walled up panties in her mouth. She should do something about that. And she would, as soon as she regained control of her limbs.

Also, how on earth was Caroline supposed to live up to that? She had never thought of herself as anything less than excellent in bed, but she had to admit Max had her beat. Caroline had no idea how to eat pussy like that, and she was much more skilled at using toys that using her fingers... But she sure as hell would try after Max had been generous enough to pleasure her like that. There had to be something she could do-perhaps Max would be willing to give her instructions?

"You're going to have to get your purse from coat check to refresh your lipstick." Max said, tugging Caroline's underwear gently out of her mouth."I think we're going to have to scrap these." She continued, eyeing the tears in the silky fabric Caroline supposed she'd made with her teeth. "I don't think it was meant to be a gag." Caroline offered slowly, tongue feeling heavy as she carefully shaped the words. Her mouth felt oddly empty now. Still, she reached out with clumsy fingers to tug at Max's dress, it was her turn now. Caroline knew there was no way she could offer her an experience quite as mind blowing, but she would do her best to at least make her come. Max trapped her hands in her larger ones.

Max smiled, "It's okay. You won't be the first pillow queen I've been with. You don't have to."

"But I want to." Caroline replied earnestly. Surprised to find that she did. She really truly wanted to touch Max, explore and ravage her the way she'd taken Caroline. It would take some practice, she knew, and convincing Max to teach her, but she had always been a gifted student.

"We're going to have to meet up again, then. I barely trust you to stand up right now. Let alone give finger banging someone a shot," Max hummed in consideration, "Well, Johnny is always talking about how we should make rich friends. Would you invite me over some time?"

"Definitely." Caroline answered fervently, and got a decidedly tangy kiss in return. She shuddered, libido revving like a well tuned engine at tasting herself on Max's lips. She couldn't believe that all it had taken was a kiss to get her going again, but her body felt like an exposed nerve, and she arched what she could of herself into in Max's very capable hands.

"So will you be buying that painting?" Max asked, pulling back, a self satisfied smirk on her face.

"I'll take ten." Caroline eagerly offered. Happy to do anything to show how much she appreciated the pleasure Max could provide. Ready and willing to do anything the other girl wanted to have it again.

"Just one will do." Max chuckled, a throaty sound that made her nipples tight. "The last thing we want is for the boys to catch a clue."

"Boys?" Caroline questioned, wondering who on earth Max could be talking about, before remembering very suddenly and viscerally that they were married. To other people. To men, at that. Despite her long sordid history of heterosexuality, Caroline was ready to give lesbianism a try. More specifically, lesbianism with Max. The other girl laughed.

"I must be good." Max teased, blue eyes warm as she tucked a strand of Caroline's hair behind her ear. They stumbled out of the stall and Caroline had a moment of pure high society dismay at the state of her hair. She'd started the evening with an elegant up-do and was now reduced to a hot mess.

"I don't suppose you have a brush?" Caroline asked Max hopefully. Max shook her head, eyes trailing suggestively up and down her body. Next thing she knew Max was in her personal space, lips brushing her ear."Leave it loose. It'll look good, and I like knowing I'm the reason your pretty hairdo is a loss. There's still an hour left until we can leave, and if you stay and walk around with your hair down and no panties on, I'll invite you to tea tomorrow."

"Okay." Caroline breathed, all but trembling with anticipation. "Can I have you for desert?"

Max winked, "Ask and you shall receive." Then she sauntered out of the restroom, hips swaying as Caroline watched, entranced. Shaking her head and running her fingers through her hair in a makeshift comb, Caroline smiled. She still felt amazing, and the girl in the mirror was all but glowing. This was the Caroline before Nicolas, the rich heiress who loved having fun. Caroline had missed her. It felt good to be back. By the time she left the bathroom she was still floating on air.

"There you are." Nicolas said, appearing at her elbow.

"Here I am." Caroline agreed, eyes skimming over her husband as she searched for Johnny's agent.

"You look different." Nicolas said, and there was a heat in his eyes that had been missing since their honeymoon. She was surprised to find she didn't particularly care. Not when she was going to have 'tea' with Max the next day."Did something happen?"

"I made a friend." Caroline answered absently, spotting the woman who had introduced herself as Johnny's agent earlier that evening.

"Excuse me." Caroline made a beeline towards her. She had a painting to buy.

 **x**

 **This was intended as a birthday present and is ridiculously late.**


End file.
